Michael “Cherty” Chertoff Goes Out With A Bang

(an update as of Dec.12th, below)

By Kelly Mahan Jaramillo, Dec. 11th 2008

Haven’t heard much from ol’ Cherty, lately – he is most likely still trying to convince himself that there really were no bodies floating in New Orleans during Katrina, that this was all made up by hysterical journalists, and there was no video evidence to support it.

Or not.

Maybe he has been staying at home with his family, quietly enjoying his sparkling clean house, a sparkling clean house that has been being cleaned by illegal immigrants.

Gasp, no, you say.  

Sigh, yes. Our Head of Homeland Security has illegal immigrants working in his house.

Every few weeks, according to the Washington Post, the Secret Service screened the identification of employees from a Maryland cleaning company before they entered the house, and have been doing this for the last four years, where the employees sailed through the checks, only now it turns out that some were illegal.

Naturally, all of the blame is falling onto the head of the company owner, a Mr. James D. Reid, who is receiving such a heavy fine – $22, 880.00 –  that he will most likely go out of business.

Read the full story here.

I have just a couple of questions.  Wouldn’t you think that the Secret Service, especially the ones dealing with the man in charge of Homeland Security, would be in possession of far superior equipment and resources to detect an illegal immigrant than the business owner would?  And if you were Michael Chertoff, wouldn’t you take a personal interest in the people entering your home, and just for shits and grins, double check the Secret Service’s work?

Naaaah – Let’s blame the company, and to cover our embarrassment, fire the business owner and sock him with an enormous fine.

As per the last eight years, we have another prominent member of this Rebublican Administration, looking out for the small business owner.

I would expect nothing less from Michael “Chert-y” Chertoff.

“We’re going to continue to enforce the law. It’s going to be tough, we don’t really have the ability to enforce the law with respect to illegal work in this country in a way that’s truly effective.” Michael Chertoff 

Um, yeah, obviously you do not have the ability to enforce the law concerning illegal work in this country.  This has now become quite evident.

Gosh, this guy makes me feel safe insofar as “Homeland Security” – don’t you feel well protected?

“Chert, Chert, Chert-y. goodbye….

Chert, Chert, Chert-y, don’t cry…”

 

UPDATE – Today I received an e-mail from the DHS, from Michael Chertoffs Assistant Press Secretary, Caroline Dierker. See Below.

It is hard to read, so I posted it and our ensuing conversation into the ‘comments’ section of this post.

I must make an admission here – I am torn.  This contact from DHS is so ripe for satire, that my eyeballs are about to pop out, yet I found Ms. Dierker to be very professional, polite, obviously loyal to her boss, and swiftly handles any negative press, in any form, written about  him. 

Ms. Dierker is going to be out of a job soon, and she seems to be a conscientious, hardworking employee, so I am having a bit of an internal struggle with my desire to make a joke at her expense.

The obvious joke is, of course, doesn’t the office of Homeland Security have more pressing issues on it’s plate than contacting a lowly blogger such as myself?  There are many more hard hitting political bloggers out there than I, yet I receive an e-mail from the assistant press secretary.  I hate to admit it, but my ego is somewhat inflated, so ultimately, I think the joke is on me.

To Ms. Dierker:

I  hope that once the new administration is in, you find a good job that you are happy with, as I stated above, you seem to be an exemplary employee.

In the meantime, since I posted your request in the comments section, will you make sure that I do not get thrown over the fence in the middle of the night?

Thank you,

Kelly Mahan Jaramillo